Everything! Is has immensely changed in some ways. And you know. I love it!
I have been and am struggling with both physical health as well as mental, and 2019 was quite terrible in many ways. I came into 2020 thinking I would change, but I did not. – Of course.
March and Covid came and I think that was my real butt kicker. I knew that if I would get it, it would be it. I would not make it and that has been a huge revelation. 35 and not believing to survive a disease. What the hell is that. It is out of this world. Unreal but really really real for me.
I remember the idea of what I wanted to do and feel. How my idea of living meant. I had this urge and longing of living in a different way which I have felt for many years but never done anything about. The idea that it is too late anyhow. I am 35 and it is too late to do any change. I have screwed up so many years of my life anyhow, so what is the point anyhow. I think the urge and longing won over those thought of it being too late.
Why do I say so?
I say this as I had such a active weekend. We went sledding and I went running and then I went walking and had some more sledding on that.
I realize that I have started to really live that life what I was urging and longing for. It is no longer an idea of something I want to do, but something I am really doing. And I realized that I both enjoyed it and I had the energy for it. In spring, when Covid first hit, I would try to do these things and the excruciating loss of energy and pain stopped me to do quite some things. What should I skip doing to manage the things I really wanted to do. What would I need not not doing, to have the energy to do the things I wanted to do.
This weekend I realized that I have that energy now. I am living that dream lifea bit more everyday. I can do so much more things. I have energy left in the end of the day. I can move better and easier. And this is only 8 months of work– imagine what will come in the following 8 months as I will stay equally or more committed to this Life Work of mine. That idea of handstand, cartwheel, pushups, free running, good blood work, pressure and less medication is not a world away. It is in my world now.
I am already living it, I will just keep moving and I will get there.
Soon the year is over. Really soon. In many ways this has been such a strange and weird year. – The year of Corona. I would lie though, if I said it has been a bad year for me. On a personal level this has been the best year in, like forever. This year I started so many important changes and I have started a Journey I am pretty proud of. And I want to continue like that. One thing that has really helped me this year, has been lists. Amazingly helped me. Amazed me how small lists has helped me so much. The order it has made in my head has helped me to bring order in my life and with that reduced stress and with that made me make better choices and with that helping me to lose weight. So I will continue with this, and bring you along with it.
Reading used to be a big part of me. It was basically all I wanted to do. The last 12 years it has been really little of this and 2020 I was able to mange 10. I will up it 50% and make it 15. I want to have “Self-improvement” “Financial” and the rest just “Novels”. I am quite excited about it!
In line with the type of books I want to read, I really need to work on my self love and acceptance. I am not perfect. I have certainty not been perfect and I will not be. I can work on accepting it and doing my best and striving to improve my best. But be happy and fine with anything. Love myself as I am, with flaws and everything.
I need to continue this trajectory of moving and working out. I am starting to see and feel real difference. Energy level, mental health level and physical level. I am happy I started this year, and I will continue no matter what. I want to particularly learn how to make a hand stand. I want to be able to run 5K in 30 min and 10K in just over the hour. I do not think that any of these are impossibilities. I want to keep the moving to about 5-6 times a week.
Life is about balance, it is so important. Life is about learning and continuing to improve ourselves as humans. I want to take this into account and work with it. To be able to grow I need to push myself and that is what I will do. I want to take on new hobbies and skills. Adding 30 min a week for new learning is a doable idea I think.
2021 is the year I will start to invest, as in money. Money might not buy you happiness, but after my divorce and living in Bolivia without anything, I also know that not having money is not happiness either. I Need to have some cushion, if 2020 have taught us anything I think is this. Nothing is forever and everything can change in a blink of a moment. Financially I need to be prepared for this.
These are my goals and intentions for 2021. What do you have planned for 2021?