My Net Worth Status- Half-year Mark 2021

As you all probably have understood, this has turned into so much more than just weight loss and its journey. I am tackling life and all of its aspects to find the root problem of my weight and fix it.
I have been able to identify few things that make me overeat and one of these things is:

My finances and money!
It gives me great deal of anxiety.

No let me take that back.
It used to give me a great deal of anxiety. The stress that I felt often ended in me eating.
At least that was something I could control. It felt like I had no control over my life and finances and that it forever would be in disarray.
Of course did I have control, it was only an awful negative feeling, that was cemented inside me.
I would forever be poor and I would never be able to get out of the rat race, never be able to go on holiday, never be able to retire, never be able to do anything.
Things did change though, and I read books and watched videos about money and how to manage it.
Today I am no longer feeling this black pit in my stomach, due to my finances. I have really shaped it up quite incredibly.

I sometimes visit the same old thinking patterns and stress out and get anxiety, due to absolute doomsday thoughts.
Losing jobs and ending up homeless and needing to live off the grace of stately support.

I have less and less of them though, and it is both a relive and strange feeling.
My plan all along though is to grow what I have.

Where Am I Today?

As I have written before, I did manage to get my emergency fund in order. This means that I have 6 months of living expenses saved up.
Thanks to this one, I was not stressing myself to death over the forgotten phone while in Spain and I know I can go on holiday in peace using some of it.

At first I this was my only goal.
This was the end goal. Knowing that I would have this fund and that would be it.
During my period of saving it up, this has changed. As with everything else on this journey 😀
I have a deep feeling that I want more and I need more in many sorts of ways.
So as of today, I do have my emergency fund and my sinking funds.

I have officially reached and crossed the 100 000 line.

goal lettering text on black background
Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com



– No this is not dollar nor Euro but Czech crowns, so maybe not as much as some but for me. Hell yeah!

I am so incredibly happy and proud of it. This has really helped me a lot in reducing the level of my anxiety.
It is quite interesting though, as when I started this transformation this amount seemed so high and totally a fortune, now it seems like just a small dent of a fortune.
Especially as I made a decision though to add more money into my fund, I am opting for 12 months.

You Cannot Save Up Wealth- This Is What I Do Now

I live pretty frugally.
I live below my means and I do save a lot today.
I look at things and wonder if I really need to get or buy an item or if I can do without. Pretty often it means that I do not buy it, as I realize I can be without.
I do not let the lifestyle inflation eat up my pretty good paycheck.
I can save quite a lot of money, and I really enjoy doing it. I do not think it will likely change anytime soon.

What I do not think though is that one can save up wealth.

I do not want to cut back on everything and save 70% of my paycheck. That is not what I am looking for.
My latte for 2 euro a cup, will not bring me wealth if I cut it down.
Do not get me wrong, cutting back and making sure I did not use more than I got helped me a lot. For sure.
But where the real work began, was a good paycheck that made it possible for me to save up bigger amounts.
But the good paycheck just takes me one step.

The same as the latte cut back will not make you rich, saving from your good paycheck will not make you either.
Obviously some exceptions here, but I am talking about us regulars with normal wages.

I believe in investing.

photo of person holding smartphone
Photo by Anna Nekrashevich on Pexels.com

I think that to build a bigger net worth I have to invest. Of course, now comes the crux; what the hell to invest in.
By the end of 2021 I want to have reached and crossed the 250K line. I got 6 months more to go and quite a bit to go.


What is your best tip and what to do to make this happen?

Non-Scale Victory #2- I Am That Person Now!

I have quite often in my life been jealous of people who are sporty. I have secretly wanted to be just like them, but not been able to put my shit away and do something about it.
I would hide the jealousy with either mocking them to myself or just blatantly trying to make them, if a person I would know, just as lazy and incapacitated to life as I was.
Claiming that their life was just boring, and consisted in nothing fun and that I felt sorry for them not wanting a fun life.
Secretly just wanting to be, healthier, in better shape, mentally stronger, and slimmer.
I would also try to make everyone around me feel and say the same thing. How I would try to justify my own mediocrity by pulling them down.
I have to say it is a really ugly trait.
One thing I could never understand; openly made fun of, secretly really liked, and always envisioned myself doing, was the vacation exercisers.
Why would someone want to go for a run while on holiday, when you could drink wine for breakfast, lunch, and dinner- and truth to be told quite late into the night too.
I had no one to be accountable for. I did not want to be accountable for anything
Stuff yourself with food- I mean I was on holiday god damn it. I deserved it.
Or I had an afternoon off, or it was Friday. or my birthday or something else.

Now, something is happening, and I am really morphing into this person, that I have wanted to be for a long time, but in which I have felt constraints of being able to be.

  • Not strong enough to be myself.
  • Not really knowing what is me.
  • Scared of what would come if I went and did what I dreamed of being. At least I knew what I was now, change is really scary.

Still not knowing, but I am quite excited and interested where this journey is taking me.
I am being accountable of myself and my action

As Long As I Fit My Jogging Outfit in the Luggage I Am Good.

This is what I actually said when I packed for my vacation in Spain. I got myself new running shoes two weeks before the trip; I really made sure that they were broken in as I did not want to bring two pairs. My old worn out and new that would not be properly broken in.
I was counting how many jogging t-shirts I may need and if 2 pairs of pants would be enough for 7 days of traveling.
Jogging pants that is.
Jogging Pants people jogging pants.
One year ago I could not even fit in my jogging pants I had, let alone be thinking of bringing them for my 10K run I planned.
I got maps ready and caches that I planned to pick during the stay in Spain.

This Must Count As My Biggest NSV so Far.

When I woke up the first morning in Vigo, I checked my plans of where to go.
I made sure that there was music ready and I went out for my run!
Ok it was not really like that, I had to spend few hours working, I had a proofreading to finish. Then I went for a walk in the town.
But then!
I did that thing that I had seen other people doing and secretly wanted.
I was now the person out running on my vacation!

I know this might seem like a trivial thing to be excited about, but I have for few years really intended to live a different kind of life.
To be the one, bringing my jogging shoes, looking up the caches, and go running to find them has been one goal I have had in mind.
I desperately wanted to be that person.
Why?
Truth to be told, I had felt stagnant and mediocre for quite some time. Feeling that my potentials were much higher than what I performed.
I do not mean that only people that go running on their vacations are something, or that everyone else is mediocre.
No.
I just mean that I was stuck in a place and routine. I did the things I did, and I knew that for me they were no longer serving me. I wanted a change. I wanted to see that my life took me places.
Emotionally.
Physically.
And I had felt that the ways that I had been doing were not leading me anywhere new. It just brought me back to the same old and that same old would not meet me emotionally any longer.
This is a gain, a victory for me, as I can feel I am on a new path and life excites me again. I am curious about what I may find.

I am being accountable of myself. Coaching myself to go out and do it!

No road is right or wrong. You have to pick one that suits you for the moment. And when it does not feel right anymore, change again to join a new road.
This is where I am at.
On a new road, jogging along. I feel utterly and incredibly satisfied that I am on just this one.

No matter how long it will take to lose the weight I have, I have already hit my goal.
I am that person who wants to put the effort in. The one who does not mind bringing shoes for her holiday as it is no effort. It is just part of me.







From Snail to Speed of Light- My Running Guide

We all need to take that saying with a grain of salt, I do hope you all understand. I have improved, and in my eyes really impressively, my running form, stamina and speed. It is pretty awesome what the human body and mind can manage!
But let us take if from the beginning.

The Beginning 

Last year I started to see a personal trainer to kick me out of my house and start doing something. This was a huge incentive for me to start doing something about my health. For me health is mental and physical. Physical as in what the body can manage and mental in how you deal with shit.

I started in May and came June I felt it was time to add something more. Some cardio on my days without my trainer.

I envisioned myself how I started running and gracefully took long and amazing looking strides. How I would bounce on my feet and every obstacle would be nothing as I jumped and bounced around them.
I laced my shoes and off I went!
It was amazing, I was running! I took strode after strode. I would run 5K at least. Maybe I should even aim for 10!
About one minute into the run I collapsed. Lungs ached, I could not find my breath. Ankles begged me to stop already. Everything that had bounced around was not me gracefully but my fat rolls up and down, up and down hurting everytime I hit the ground.
My 10 KM plan was officially a failure. I made some walk-jog for about 2 and then it was it. 

A Plan is Building Up

I could have given up there and then as so many times before. Something is different now though. I do not know what, something just is. I did not give up. Not at all. Quite the opposite.
For the first time in my life, I put a plan in action. 

  1. I consumed every little running video on Youtube. With Global Triathlon Network being my absolute favorite. They have both beginner and advanced as their target. 
  2. Reading about running and how it is beneficial and helpful for us. How we should run and what is the correct running technique. 
  3. Made up a running plan and decided to rigorously stick to it, no matter what or how I felt. 
  4. Practice not just running but really focusing on running form. Aim to work on muscle groups which would be beneficial to train, aiming to help my run. 
One of the first times


How Did This Manifest? 

I decided not to jog with music at all. There were these two ideas behind it. 
One: if not finding my headset to be able to listen to music would be a reason not to go, I did not want that reason.
Second: I wanted to not get lost in music but really focus on my form and breathing. 

I also decided to run in blocks of 3 weeks. And stick to that block of time, no matter what. If I felt like doing more I told myself not to do it. I was still at 110+ kilos and running with this amount is not recommended. The strain on your joint and the added weight on ankles each time you step down your foot is not something to disregard.

My Plan I Followed

First 3 weeks were mainly about getting out. I jogged 2 minutes and then I walked for another 3. Jogged 2 and walked 3. I remember being dead most of the time. Not liking it and how my lungs and joints killed me.

Then I added one minute to the run and subtracted from the walk, so 3 minutes walk turned into 2 minutes and 2 minutes jog turned into 3 minutes. This I did for 3 weeks. I would take each jog and practice belly breathing. Trying to get as much air into my lower lungs.
My calves did really eat me up. I would cramp up really heavily. I did not understand from what, and did think I was running out of electrolytes. Now I just think it was just extremely heavy for my body, even these small jogs.

The next following 3 weeks, I added and subtracted again. 4 minutes jog and just 1 walking.
Once a week I would also do intervals. 1 minutes really fast, 1 minutes slow, 1 fast, 1 slow and then walk 1 minutes and repeat for 20 minutes and then 5 minutes slow jog and that was it. 30 minutes all in all.

And then it was 5 minutes of jog, this was my plan but actually I felt so powerful that when I decided for the 5 minutes I just continued to run though I remember. I was so full of the potential that I did not see the reason why not to just continue. I did 10 minutes in one go. For me it was like a 10K race. I was extremely proud. And rightfully so.
I took 5 minutes and focused on one specific form. Legs, or arms, torso, or head. This would make the 10 minutes easier.
Over time that has also really helped me improve my form. Which today is pretty OK actually.

My First Jog In One Go

Before this day, I had just been jogging and stopping and jogging and stopping. But the time I ran my first 2 kilometer in one go was amazing!
I do not have any record of it, but I was so extremely proud. I remember my bargain of one more tree, one more sign, one more 5 minutes. Soon had I finished my first 3 kilometer jog. No stopping. 

Where Am I Now?

My goal now is to run 5K 30 Minutes flat or less. 10K 1 hour flat or less.
How I will get there is a post all by itself because this post is starting to look like a short novel.
I will finish by saying that I went out today for a run, and I did 4,3K in 30 minutes. I am soon reaching my goal. My plan, my idea, my execution.
I have come a long way from that first jog in June. From feeling that jogging was a punishment, and that all my body hurt from it, I enjoy it today. I am looking forward for the runs and if I do not do them for a while, I get grumpy and angry.
It is a really integrated part of my life today.
It took some time, and I still have a long way. Hips hurt after running due to the extra weight. But persistence wins the race!

How to Holistic Weight loss- My Version

I read something really sad today. Something I think about quite frequently and it is something I have on my mind on a regular basis.
According to the article on CBC
“Only about five percent of people who try to lose weight ultimately succeed, according to the research. “
There is other research out there saying that losing more than 20 percent of your body weight once, has a success rate of 5% going for a second time the rate is down to 1%
This is not my first nor second time. But It will be my last time. That is why I am doing it differently this time.

Holistic Weight loss

“PHILOSOPHY

characterized by the belief that the parts of something are intimately interconnected and explicable only by reference to the whole.

MEDICINE
characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the symptoms of a disease.”

And this is exactly what I do differently this time around with my weight loss journey. I have a holistic approach.
I cannot treat my weight loss as a free-standing problem in my life that does not affect or get affected by the other parts of my life. It is all connected.
I have problems with mental health and my mental health issues as many underlying reasons.
I have had financial instability and uncertainty and these issues give me stress and my coping mechanism is always eating. I cannot cure one thing without looking at the other.
I have lived an empty life, without meaning or path, guiding or reason. There has been no plan to work against, and nothing to work towards. I have just had the next meal in mind.
This is what I have done in the past. I have looked at weight as just the single issue of weight. Never ever have I wanted to deal with the issue at hand. All the other parts connected.

What  I Do For a Holistic Weight loss

I have made a plan to discover life. I know I am 35 but better late than never. I need to want to do something more than watch movies and snack. Or go for dinner and have food and drinks. Or meet friends and drink and have snacks.

  1. I am dedicating a minimum of 30 min a week to self-exploration.
    These are things that I do not know if I like, but I have to give it a go. I need to try things out. I have put some time into drawings. I will maybe not become a new master painter but I have to say has given me quite some joy. Ok, quite some frustration as well. I just don’t get how to do it.
    This targets the boredom of life which I often feel and staves off that feeling which just wants me to eat instead.
  2. Studying languages for a minimum of 30 min 3 times a week.
    I live in Czech Republic but I do not speak Czech fluently nor even close to it. This stresses me out, tremendously. What do I do when I am stressed? Yes you are right. I tend to sit on my ass, watch a movie and snack.
    This targets the discomfort I have with language which ultimately will give me peace of mind and less angst about it. 
  3. I work on my finances and the financial independence I am working towards. I have created budgets, sinking funds, plans, and investments to create stability and  foundation for me and my daughter. I do not need to go to bed nervous if I can pay my next rent or not.
    This is quite explanatory it targets the stability in life. 
  4. I am reading books again, both fictional and non-fictional. Traditional self-help books, investing books, novels, anything right now in written form. I want to read what others do or feel. Improving my own situation by learning from others and reading is an amazing resource for that. Reading how others have done things, inspires me to become or do even better, and keeps me motivated to not cave into the mouth pleasures of food.
    It targets the spiritual instability with little connection to meaningfulness I have. 
  1. I move and getting truly excited and interested about it. I know that moving is not the biggest need for weight loss. It has shown that for sustained weight loss exercising is an important tool. Being genuinely interested in it, and actually looking forward to moving and how to improve and what to do really help the entire process. Keeping active helps me with my food intake as well, and my general healthiness.

Will This Work?

I do not know. I cannot tell. I for sure hope so. I can just say that I have a quite different feel about this time around. I feel different. I am different. It is this notion of clarity and understanding. The things I do might change, but I will not stop doing them. Even if it will not work for losing weight, which it will, it is a really workable tool for my life. Getting ahead and having the life I want. Doing and experiencing life to the fullest. As it looks like now, this will be the thing that keeps me in the 1%.

Unexpected Changes

So, after 20 Kilos down, I have noticed some changes in my body and soul. Some changes I have expected, as this is not the first time I lose weight.  I am aiming though that this is the last time I fluctuate 30+ kilos!
Some of the things I have noticed has been rather unexpected as I had forgotten how it was not having all that weight on me. As the weight comes creeping up, I did not think about all the things changing until now, when they are reversing again.
So here will come a list of some unexpected changes!

1. Not waking up as one swollen ball. I used to wake up every single day, with this puffy huge face, with eyes small and swollen like nothing else. I just thought of it as something that happens when you get older. Makeup was a necessity!  A Few weeks ago though, I realized that my face no longer looked like this. Eyelids were not hanging over the eyes and forehead and cheeks was not doubled in size.
I am not sure why, but I would expect that the snoring has something to do with it. The fact that I am not suffering from a shortage of air, is probably one reason. Water retention is probably as well. Permanent inflammation, which you have when obese is decreasing as well, and that probably helps out too! 

2. Changing all my facemasks! This is a bit funny one, and it has been quite unexpected. The other day, I was so annoyed on my facemask as it kept falling off my nose, or slipping down on my chin. I realized it was because my face has slimmed down and the mask has not as much meat to rest on 😀 

3. Better personal hygiene. This is quite personal, but I think it is important to look at. When you are really big, there are some leakages in private areas happening. I did not realize it was due to extra pressure on the bladder. I have had really easy for infections and irritations in this area, as it has been really squeezed together and just not airy enough. The other day, I realize that no itching, smelling, or irritation has been happening for a long time. I also learned that blood circulation, helps the area to keep healthy. So has been such a positive change. No need feeling uncomfortable about BO or things like this. 

4. Less need for medication! This is so amazing, I did know that medication for physical issues, could be reduced once losing weight. I am suffering from some mental impairment and taking medication for that. I have really drastically lowered my levels though. I really take the minimum doses right now. This I did not expect at all. Why is it like this? I really do not know.

I will probably find out more, interesting and surprising changes, as I am still not done with this part of my life.

Let Us Try Some Non-Procrastination!

First of all- What does procrastination really mean?

  1. Be realistic! Have I not been doing all I should have done until now, a list with 10 items will most probably just stress me out. I work and have a child. What can actually really be done. 
  2. Time management- How long does a task really take? The enire task from start to finish.  Going and posting one letter might sound like a 10 min job, but geting dressed, walking there, standing in line, paying, walking back, will take more than the short 10 minutes I initially thought it would take. 
  3. Create a routine with when I should have them done by. It is nice to say I shall do this and that, but if I have no guidelines of by what time they need to be finished it is hard to see them done.
  4. Need to structure up the plan nicely. Make the plan nice looking. If I create a nicer look, I tend to work better. Not just some scribbled down words. Think Bullet journal!

These four things have I seen so far. I have only been in it for about one week, but could feel that this morning that these changes for success  needs to be done.  Let’s see if doing these changes can make the sick pit in my stomach going away.
I just know I need to get out of procrastination and into doing the stuff I want. A life without a plan is just a wandering around.
I do not want to just exist, Iwant to love and planning makes it happen.