Everything! Is has immensely changed in some ways. And you know. I love it!
I have been and am struggling with both physical health as well as mental, and 2019 was quite terrible in many ways.
I came into 2020 thinking I would change, but I did not. – Of course.
March and Covid came and I think that was my real butt kicker. I knew that if I would get it, it would be it. I would not make it and that has been a huge revelation.
35 and not believing to survive a disease. What the hell is that. It is out of this world. Unreal but really really real for me.
I remember the idea of what I wanted to do and feel. How my idea of living meant. I had this urge and longing of living in a different way which I have felt for many years but never done anything about. The idea that it is too late anyhow. I am 35 and it is too late to do any change. I have screwed up so many years of my life anyhow, so what is the point anyhow.
I think the urge and longing won over those thought of it being too late.
Why do I say so?
I say this as I had such a active weekend. We went sledding and I went running and then I went walking and had some more sledding on that.
I realize that I have started to really live that life what I was urging and longing for. It is no longer an idea of something I want to do, but something I am really doing. And I realized that I both enjoyed it and I had the energy for it. In spring, when Covid first hit, I would try to do these things and the excruciating loss of energy and pain stopped me to do quite some things.
What should I skip doing to manage the things I really wanted to do. What would I need not not doing, to have the energy to do the things I wanted to do.
This weekend I realized that I have that energy now. I am living that dream life a bit more everyday. I can do so much more things. I have energy left in the end of the day. I can move better and easier.
And this is only 8 months of work– imagine what will come in the following 8 months as I will stay equally or more committed to this Life Work of mine. That idea of handstand, cartwheel, pushups, free running, good blood work, pressure and less medication is not a world away.
It is in my world now.
I am already living it, I will just keep moving and I will get there.