Weight-loss Approach a La Manka

The constant question we all have! OK maybe not us all but we who want to shed it.

– How the F do we shed these bloody kilos?!

As mentioned before, this is not my first rodeo, I do wish it to be the last one. I know what I have done in the past and decided not to do the same.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”– Rita Mae Brown

So I am doing something new. Something I did not try before. It does not seem too strange of an idea according to me.

So what have I done in the past- so I know what not to do again?

1. Stopped eating all together– It is really effective but you cannot go doing that forever so might not be so clever.
2. On the same line- stopped eating everything “Unhealthy“, pasta, rice, potatoes, sugar, sweets, meat, bread, fat, you name it. I have stopped it all. This has only gotten me to ravenously craving just these types of food ending in me not being able to stop once I started again. And you always start to eat it again.
3. Super strict just to indulge over the weekend- whatever progress that I might have had was canceled out over the food I had over the weekend. 2 days of stuffing yourself with food and drinks can easily cancel out any good work over the weekend.
4. That one workout would validate overeating – But come on! I worked out, I can eat this second serving of pasta and a dessert on top of this. Add some sugar into my coffee already! Anything else needed to say?
5. One times a week moving would be enough– My sister only goes to gym once a week and she in slim. Why should I need more? Maybe because you are 40 kilos over, and she is not.

What is the Plan for this and final time around? – HOLISTIC

I really believe that if I do not work on all aspects of my life this will never work. I have used food to cover up a lot of insecurities and issues I have. Also for boredom and stress. I need to work on the stuff inside my head. I need to find a way of living that brings everything together, so I do not need to rely on food and sedentary life to survive.

1. Bringing my finances in order– I stress over this constantly. After I got divorced while living in South America I did not live on much. Many days I could not eat as I could not afford to buy food for both me and my daughter. So many Sundays I ransacked all my purses to see if I could find few bolivianos for transport to school and work. Energy for caring for myself when in financial stress is 0.
2. Moving on a regular basis- No, 1 time a week is not enough for a realistic weight loss for me. I do not believe so. Once weight is shed and I need to maintain, OK. Now, not. I need to make sure my expenditure is higher than my intake.
3. Consistency- No matter what, gain or loss or stale just keep doing what I am doing. It is working somewhat. Just do the grinding. I do feel honestly happier and better just doing it, even if at the moment nothing is happening.
4. Transparency to myself– Be honest about what I have eaten. During christmas I know I pretended I had not as much food as I actually had. Or as much sugar as I actually had. I need to be honest. Rules are not bad. Rules are OK. And it is needed to be followed and be honest about them. It is ok to not do it all the time but be honest about it. If I am not, how can I make any tweaks.
5. Finding hobbies- I get bored and I eat. Or I watch movies and series resulting in me not moving. I need to work on all elements to have a balanced life, where I feel I am worthy of success. I have dedicated 30 min a week for learning/trying new things to push myself into doing more things than just sitting on my ass.
6. Working with a trainer- I am going to take in a trainer again. I am not there yet to put myself into hard workouts and know what I need to do to improve with them. I have goals with my body and I do not know how to reach them. I have lived a sedentary life, how am I suppose to know myself what can be good or how to do it. Bring in help where help is needed.

That is my plan so far. I might add or remove- I shall see. I think it looks like I have made a thought out plan and idea of my LIFE, not just my weight. I have considered the aspect of the past and looked into how I can make it manageable now. I cannot continue on this path of 30-40+- fluctuation in weight. My body is hurting and aching.

What is your plan how to take control of your life?

Recent Photo Taken, 20 Kilos Down

Overindulging & Underperforming- What Not to Do On Weight loss

December has passed us now. I am more than happy about it.
The struggle is real! December came and I added on quite some extra work to cover Christmas. I am a freelancer and do not have paid holidays.
( Building a sinking fund for just this reason!)
So with extra work came fewer hours to work out. I know working out cannot cancel a bad diet, but I think my diet is pretty OK. Until. Well until it is not. For me these two things go hand in hand. I work out and I eat well. I do not work out, I eat badly.
I think that these two keep themselves accountable. But truth to be told, I am having a hard time with the 80% diet 20% exercise for weight loss. I grew up with 100% physical activity leads to weight loss, and it is a hard pill to swallow, this new data.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

December and the Almighty Overindulging Month

December came and with the extra work, I started slipping with my diet. Overeating here, and overeating there.
” One thing sometimes is OK”
Of course- if it sometimes. My only problem has always been and will most probably always be:
The sometimes coming more and more often. This is exactly what happened. Eating a cookie more here, and a mayo potato salad here.
Maybe you want an extra serving of that my lady? – Well of course yes!

Training came less and less often.

Then I escaped to Barcelona for a week. The intention was of course good. I think that we got out 3 times in a 7 days trip. Only thing that I outdid all of that nice moving around with my eating and drinking.
You cannot outdo a bad diet with exercise, but what you for sure can do is outdo a good exercise with shitty eating!
From intermitted fasting to overindulging. Working-out 5-6 times a week till about 2-3. Not drinking alcohol to having it on a daily basis. None of this was really beneficial for me.

Then Came Christmas. Oh My Oh My


Potato salad, mayo, cookies, chocolate, eggnog, then some more cookies and potato salad. Then few more chocolates. NO and I mean NO walks or runs or work out. It was 3 to 4 days of absolutely nothing. Well, we had the fare share of Christmas fairytales. Movies hour after hour.
Me sleeping about every single day for about 10 hours straight and with a daily nap of about 2 hours.
How all my implemented measures and ways totally and utterly just crackled down on me. Not even pretending to do anything.
I do not like this idea, to “be good” and then have “cheat days” and after that repent and ” be back on track”. I just find it inherently wrong to have this idea about food, and exercise and any regimen you may have.
This lockdown was not doing anything easier either. We have to stay in from 9PM to 5AM. Curfew is killing any time in the evening to try to manage something.

I did all that I had set out not to do. Overindulged and underperformed.

I set it out as my goal and it totally fing failed. I am so disappointed. I am not going to pretend other. I let myself totally go and that is what I have set out not to do. I do not want to live this way of up and down and back and forth.
Overfill myself to after that starve myself and then just stuff, stuff, and then stuff myself. This is not healthy and doable. This is not how I do want to live. I do not want to just let every habit and thing I have built up, be crushed down and by no one else than me. I prefer something else. What I am not entirely sure of yet. But I know that if I will find peace with myself, I have to find a new way how to interact with food, activities, and the thoughts I have about them.

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Photo by Ivan Bertolazzi on Pexels.com

What Will You Do; 2021?

Soon the year is over. Really soon. In many ways this has been such a strange and weird year.
– The year of Corona.
I would lie though, if I said it has been a bad year for me. On a personal level this has been the best year in, like forever.
This year I started so many important changes and I have started a Journey I am pretty proud of. And I want to continue like that. One thing that has really helped me this year, has been lists. Amazingly helped me. Amazed me how small lists has helped me so much. The order it has made in my head has helped me to bring order in my life and with that reduced stress and with that made me make better choices and with that helping me to lose weight.
So I will continue with this, and bring you along with it.

  • Reading used to be a big part of me. It was basically all I wanted to do. The last 12 years it has been really little of this and 2020 I was able to mange 10. I will up it 50% and make it 15. I want to have “Self-improvement” “Financial” and the rest just “Novels”. I am quite excited about it!
  • In line with the type of books I want to read, I really need to work on my self love and acceptance. I am not perfect. I have certainty not been perfect and I will not be. I can work on accepting it and doing my best and striving to improve my best. But be happy and fine with anything. Love myself as I am, with flaws and everything.
  • I need to continue this trajectory of moving and working out. I am starting to see and feel real difference. Energy level, mental health level and physical level. I am happy I started this year, and I will continue no matter what. I want to particularly learn how to make a hand stand. I want to be able to run 5K in 30 min and 10K in just over the hour. I do not think that any of these are impossibilities. I want to keep the moving to about 5-6 times a week.
  • Life is about balance, it is so important. Life is about learning and continuing to improve ourselves as humans. I want to take this into account and work with it. To be able to grow I need to push myself and that is what I will do. I want to take on new hobbies and skills. Adding 30 min a week for new learning is a doable idea I think.
  • 2021 is the year I will start to invest, as in money. Money might not buy you happiness, but after my divorce and living in Bolivia without anything, I also know that not having money is not happiness either. I Need to have some cushion, if 2020 have taught us anything I think is this. Nothing is forever and everything can change in a blink of a moment. Financially I need to be prepared for this.

These are my goals and intentions for 2021. What do you have planned for 2021?

Unexpected Changes

So, after 20 Kilos down, I have noticed some changes in my body and soul. Some changes I have expected, as this is not the first time I lose weight.  I am aiming though that this is the last time I fluctuate 30+ kilos!
Some of the things I have noticed has been rather unexpected as I had forgotten how it was not having all that weight on me. As the weight comes creeping up, I did not think about all the things changing until now, when they are reversing again.
So here will come a list of some unexpected changes!

1. Not waking up as one swollen ball. I used to wake up every single day, with this puffy huge face, with eyes small and swollen like nothing else. I just thought of it as something that happens when you get older. Makeup was a necessity!  A Few weeks ago though, I realized that my face no longer looked like this. Eyelids were not hanging over the eyes and forehead and cheeks was not doubled in size.
I am not sure why, but I would expect that the snoring has something to do with it. The fact that I am not suffering from a shortage of air, is probably one reason. Water retention is probably as well. Permanent inflammation, which you have when obese is decreasing as well, and that probably helps out too! 

2. Changing all my facemasks! This is a bit funny one, and it has been quite unexpected. The other day, I was so annoyed on my facemask as it kept falling off my nose, or slipping down on my chin. I realized it was because my face has slimmed down and the mask has not as much meat to rest on 😀 

3. Better personal hygiene. This is quite personal, but I think it is important to look at. When you are really big, there are some leakages in private areas happening. I did not realize it was due to extra pressure on the bladder. I have had really easy for infections and irritations in this area, as it has been really squeezed together and just not airy enough. The other day, I realize that no itching, smelling, or irritation has been happening for a long time. I also learned that blood circulation, helps the area to keep healthy. So has been such a positive change. No need feeling uncomfortable about BO or things like this. 

4. Less need for medication! This is so amazing, I did know that medication for physical issues, could be reduced once losing weight. I am suffering from some mental impairment and taking medication for that. I have really drastically lowered my levels though. I really take the minimum doses right now. This I did not expect at all. Why is it like this? I really do not know.

I will probably find out more, interesting and surprising changes, as I am still not done with this part of my life.

7 Months and 20 Kilos!

I need to figure out how WordPress work, as I have mentioned, this is not my first time having a blog, but it was really long time ago and the layout and how WordPress works are all new.
Ok truth to be told, I probably did not really understand how it worked in the past either. I have not been really interested in learning things, but still expecting to get top results as IF I knew what I was doing.
Of topic! 😀

Today marks the 7th month in my health/weight/life Journey. 7 months of grinding and working to get to my goal.
I do not think people understand how hard it can be at times. I have never had a good regimen with anything. The notion that fat people are lazy and over eat has been true in my case.
You want that second plate, or third… HAVE IT!
You had a cake yesterday, well it is OK, have another one!
You do not want to go for a walk, or move, then do not! Why should you do anything that is against what you want? It is not healthy!

Well, at least for me, this mindset has not been healthy. I gained weight over the years, like no ones business and I have never been as heavy before. This is NOT health. To overindulge and stuff myself with anything that came along.
I vividly remember a birthday party, February this year, and I ate for 2 hours straight. Ate, ate and ate.
Finger food mind me, but 2 hours of finger food is a lot. So from practically not doing anything, I decided that this was enough.
I was scared I would not wake up, the sore and swollen uvula, told me about a sleeping regimen that was not good. My dark eyes around my eye told on me as well.

7 months ago, more or less today, I started this. In my mind, I would have 10 sessions with a PT and that would be it. I am laughing about my own stupidity. Years of mistreat and bad habits, would be overwritten by 10 sessions with a PT? It is a bit gullible.

I tried a girl at first, but she just did not do it for me, she probably saw the size I was in, and thought it would be better not to go hard on me. But not going hard on me, is what I have done forever, so I really needed the opposite. My second one I stayed with, at times I was so angry that he did not understand how heavy I was, as some of the things I just physically could not do, it felt like the joints or muscles would tare. But he kicked me, and that is what I needed.
I got a nutritionist as well, that helped me to get reminded about what food is for. I have since astrayed from this way of eating, only clean and 5 ingredients, and excluding food groups, as I think this is not healthy either. It did help me, to regain some control of myself though.

Slowly but surely, have I lost the kilos. I remember my second weigh in, where I was just so angry and disappointed. I started at 113.9 kilos, with my second trainer I had already lost 2 kilos so heaviest was 116, and on my second weigh in I was 111, such a failure! I thought then, not anymore.
I had expected to lose 10 kilos, and be half done with what I was set up to do, this is 1 month into my life journey. It is interesting how we expect so unrealistic results.
Many times did I not want to continue, mostly as the scale went down so slow. I am so proud of myself though, that I never did! Really few times, have I not done what goal I set myself, which being queen of procrastination and giving up, I am so freaking proud!

Having gone to the gym, pool, running, home workouts, yoga, hiking, I have made more than a dent in the numbers by now. Everyday is a new commitment to the Manka I want to be, and almost everyday have I completed it.
Before I started to write this post, I felt a bit disappointed at me, for not having lost more faster, but as I am writing is I realize how good it is! How amazing I have done!
I have worked on my relationship with food and activities, on my relationship with myself and how I react to things, as I do not want this to happen again. Regaining and then plus some.
I am not done with the work, and I still got a long way to go, but I am on the bloody road at least, and I am walking it. It is pretty amazing!

20 Kilos is not, nothing! It is something!!

Let Us Try Some Non-Procrastination!

First of all- What does procrastination really mean?

  1. Be realistic! Have I not been doing all I should have done until now, a list with 10 items will most probably just stress me out. I work and have a child. What can actually really be done. 
  2. Time management- How long does a task really take? The enire task from start to finish.  Going and posting one letter might sound like a 10 min job, but geting dressed, walking there, standing in line, paying, walking back, will take more than the short 10 minutes I initially thought it would take. 
  3. Create a routine with when I should have them done by. It is nice to say I shall do this and that, but if I have no guidelines of by what time they need to be finished it is hard to see them done.
  4. Need to structure up the plan nicely. Make the plan nice looking. If I create a nicer look, I tend to work better. Not just some scribbled down words. Think Bullet journal!

These four things have I seen so far. I have only been in it for about one week, but could feel that this morning that these changes for success  needs to be done.  Let’s see if doing these changes can make the sick pit in my stomach going away.
I just know I need to get out of procrastination and into doing the stuff I want. A life without a plan is just a wandering around.
I do not want to just exist, Iwant to love and planning makes it happen.

The Month Has Come to an End

So, November month is over. We celebrated 1st of December yesterday. I like to make a little review from the passed month and get myself a new intentional plan.
If there is something I am learning is that without a plan in action, I do nothing. I cannot just do things if there is not a plan set. It is kind of a revelation, as I thought I was a woman in action. Buuuuut No.
There are too many other options out there that distracts me and I fall for them, all the time.
My head is already full of things and I think I suffer from decision fatigue, so this is the way I have managed to get things and I will keep it.
So.
November, has been both a hard and easy month.
Easy in the sense that the work-outs I am doing is really starting to bare fruit. I am noticing nice results and I can feel after each training that I have progressed.
Hard in the sense, that to find the motivation, in the dark and cold is really hard to work with. Not even the motivation, the determination. I just feel like I want to watch a movie and drink coffee all evenings long. Just the fact that evenings starts already at the afternoon now, at 5pm it’s pitch black.

I had as a goal to walk 1 hour a day during day light.
Did not manage. I just did not want to wake up. I have been walking every day, on average 1.56 hours but not in day light. I walked less than during October, but I am quite OK with this anyhow as the darkness and cold is quite overwhelming this year.
Work out 5-6 days apart of walking.
Did not manage again as I just want to drink coffee and sleep. I did 4-5 times which is OK but I think that a solid 5 should be better to have. It has been hard too, as neither are the pools, nor gyms open and in wet cold weather it is getting harder for me.
Add 30 min daily for self development activity, or enriching skills I already have.
Hahaha. Did not happened at all. I have done maybe 30 min per week. I just did not plan enough around this. I totally did not.

A lot of it has been me blaming the weather, mood, temperature. But it is just that, I blame something. I need to stop this pattern of blaming. If I want something, well then I just need to do it. No one will come and give it to me, and honestly I would not want it anyhow, not anymore.
I just need to focus, and do it. Hence the lists. I have started with daily lists of what to do, to add some clarity to my days.

So plan for December is:
Walk 1 hour a day in sunlight. Does not need to be one hour straight, but in total. It is important to be out and see the sun. It gives me energy.
Add Vitamin D to my routine of food.
5 Times a week with different trainings than walks, should be easier now as gyms and pools can open from this Thursday.
30 min of working on skills, or self development 3-5 times a week. Every day I guess was a bit ambitious. 😀

So, Let December Commence!

I Hope One Day We Will Feel Happy

A friends told me this last week when we met, after a long time not seeing each other. I told him why, what and how I am changing my life. I told him I am pushing and working hard because I need to get somewhere in life.
I needed to start being the parent who sets up a plan for its child and then just work after it. I read that in Jordan Peterson’s book ” 12 Rules of Life”
Be someone you are responsible for helping. I needed to listen to the future me, not just satisfy the present me.
And I just want to put it straight.

Never ever have I felt as happy as I do now. And it hit me, listening to him, that maybe it does not seem so.
I know I force myself to keep moving. I push myself every single day. I do not feel like it every day, for sure not. I do skip things that the present Manka would want, as I know that the future Manka will be happier from it.
Treating myself like this, I have found out the the present me is changing too. That the destructive, immediate wants are not so interesting anymore.

I push myself every day but it makes me happy. I have never felt this good, mentally, ever. I know I write- on my Instagram -check it out- MankasLifeDiet about the struggles I have and that it is hard and that motivation might be missing sometimes.
But I feel happy in the struggle, and pushing myself, and feeling unmotivated and doing it anyway and feeling the feelings of hard. In struggles and hardship and how we overcome it, we grow.

I have quite some plans of what I will do in the future and where I am moving towards. It will be hard and I will do the same. Push myself, I will feel unmotivated, and ,probably, bored as well by it. But I truly believe I will feel as happy, if not happier, as now. – I will let you know if I do not 😉
|One day is already here for me.

Be My Own Accountability Coach- My Current Stats

This is me now. There has been a change for sure, from the first photo taken in May. I can see this when I see the photo. You can read more about it in my first blog post here. 

Sadly, can I not see this in real life. I just do not. I can sometimes feel it, as I do not struggle as much as I used to do. I have for sure lost a significant amount of weight. I can logically understand that, but visually do I have not under any circumstances see it.  I am looking into different reasons why I do not see it, not understand it and what it can be. 

What Are My Current Stats?

I am now at 97 Kilos, and at my heaviest weight I weighed in at 116, If I just get down one kilo more and I am down 20! 
I find it amazing that I have been able to do this. When you hear it, it sounds a lot. Like really a lot.
But I am somehow not aware of it. It is a struggle I have and something I need to look into. For me to live long-term with my weight loss I need to be aware of it. It is kind of imperative for the whole shebang. 

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The stats are not so great, but truth to be told not as bad as they use to be. And for this I am happy.
Not only this but I also have had:

  • high blood pressure,
  • blood sugar,
  • cholesterol,
  • plaque,
  • liver fats,
  • problems sleeping,
  • snoring,
  • pain in joints, back, knees,
  • phlegmy lungs,
  • irregular periods.

Moving Forward

This was just to mention some. I do have more and have had more issues than these. Being obese for long periods of life is not healthy, whatever people claim to say. 
This time around, I do not care that much how I look, of course, I care I am not going to pretend otherwise, but I want to really focus on how I feel. I need to transform my thinking from looks to needs. 
I am tired of feeling all the above. I am 35 and should not feel like I am about to die. 
I do not want anymore anxiety induced by food not having the health benefits for my body as I would want. 

Since I have begun losing weight, I have improved my blood pressure, and it is down to normal readings. I  no longer snore so I wake up my daughter, nor do I wake up with phlegm in my lungs, on a regular basis. I am on a really good trajectory! I just need to keep it up and going.
These weight loss changes are more than welcomed.  It is not easy to lose weight and it is very often a shitty road but I do think it is worth it. 
These are things I try to focus on when I cannot see the change. These are stats so much more important than looks. I am on a journey to health and balance. I want to continue this journey, a bit different than I have done until now. I need to look into a holistic view and to be good in all parts and not just a number on the scale.   

Accountability (9) Changes (7) Extreme Weight Loss (7) Finances (3) Financial Freedom (5) Financial Literacy (2) Financial Security (5) Fitness (4) Fitnessgoals (3) Fitness Goals (2) Health (3) Healthy Weight Loss (8) Holistic Life (18) Holistic Mindset (11) Holistic View (4) Holistic Weight loss (14) Journey (6) Life Diet (13) Life Goal (12) Life Journey (19) Life story (7) Life transformation (27) Living Life (4) Making changes (3) Mental Health (3) Mindful Weight loss (8) My Journey (21) My Story (12) My Transformation (13) New Beginnings (5) New life (9) Non Scale Victory (3) Obese (3) Overweight (9) Plans (8) Plans and Goals (4) Private Finances (5) Struggles (3) Transformation (12) Weight Loss (15) Weight loss Goals (9) Weight loss Journey (22) Weight loss Plan (8) Weight loss Strategy (7) Weight loss Struggles (11)

Weight Loss Journey- Transform My Life

Here I am again. This is not my first rodeo. Neither with blogging nor weight losing. I do not know how many times I have been on a weight-loss journey, for sure more than one. This shall be the last though. I have also been on and of the blogging journey capturing different parts of life. Never done it together. I need an accountability coach, I cannot afford one so I have to become my own. This blog will be just that.

Transformation of My Weight loss Journey

I am Maria AKA Manka. I desperately need to transform my life. I have started 6 months ago, but I find it really hard to keep it going. It started in May with a normal idea of losing weight and not caring too much more about this journey. During these 6 months, have I the feeling that I am morphing into something new though. This is not the first attempt, but I truly want and need it to be the last. I need to change my life for the better. I need something new.  The strangest thing is that I do not feel I need to force this transformation but the change has happened slowly and organically during the course of the months. The interesting part is that I do not have the notion that this is only about weight but a whole new life that is emerging. It is quite exciting and also bit uncomfortable.

Goals for Weight loss Transformation

There are many things I need to change with myself and my goals are many. I desperately need to lose weight. I also need to change my life in regards to my finances. They stress me out which results in weight gain. I need to drastically change my life as my body is falling apart. My vitals are no good, with high everything you can have high. I have reduced blood pressure quite a lot, and I do give that to my weight loss. Shedding kilos has helped shedding pressure. I need a holistic and mindful weight loss. I need to incorporate all aspects and parts of my life. Not only tackle my amounting number of kilos as a separate part of this transformation. All aspects of life, which stress me, or bores me which results in weight gain need to be addressed. I will win this weight loss transformation! I need to get down to an overweight number, as I am technically obese at the moment with a BMI of 38. Starting weight from the very start was 116 Kilos. First Goal 90 kilos Eng Goal 70-80 Kilos

How Will I Do This Weight loss Plan?

I do not really know. I am no expert in this. I just know I need the change. Take control of my life and win this thing. Join me in the quest for happiness, stability, financial independence and everything else that is needed for a holistic and mindful weight loss, where all parts of the puzzle need to be in order for a sustainable change.